After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
