What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
