i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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