I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
