we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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