You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
