She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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