perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
