Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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