We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
