I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Panties = found
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
