How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize