I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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