its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
