Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize