I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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