So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
