Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I would ride that face into the sunset
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
