I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
