My room smells like vodka and shame
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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