So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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