did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
one might say we're banned from that church
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
