Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
