Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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