Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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