Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
