Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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