She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize