Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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