when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
