You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
