she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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