Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
