im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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