DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize