the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
