I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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