i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We got so high we made milksteak
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
