he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
