Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
4 words: hood of his car
so let's talk penis.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
