So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
