My liver just broke up with me...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
