these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
ok first of all what the fuck
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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