He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
