Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
