If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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