Well apparently he's into motor boating.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have fence marks all over my body
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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