So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
