I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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