Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize