Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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