It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
