I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
