great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
