Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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