Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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