how can u be prego again
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
