sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
