There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
