there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
