Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
