hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
