I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
