we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
