Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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