is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
