I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
