LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
