I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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