there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
