Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize