If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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