It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
