the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
