Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My dick has a subreddit
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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