The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
