I look better un-naked...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
