i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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