Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
