i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize