does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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