i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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