All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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