Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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